I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You should frame my arrest warrant.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
