On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
