if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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