You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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