They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I wear drunk well.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize