More tranny stories later!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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