My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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