I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize