Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
