I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
