This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
