I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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