you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
