They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
