Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
