they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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