I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
