I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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