dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
