She said her name was "party"
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
