I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
