her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
