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I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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