Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
