At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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