I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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