I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
