the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
