I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
did i just pee glitter
Randomize