Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
