Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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