Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
