I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
