god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
