I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
