I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
