Just mADE A PArabola og urine
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
