Dual....:-)
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
