kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
