i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
