Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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