Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Randomize
