I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
