Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
