whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
