I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
