Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
