I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
