I need help removing her.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
People in love make me want to vomit
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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