Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
