dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
