just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
