There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
