My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
