ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
