hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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