so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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