So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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