I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
