You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
