so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
