Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Pants are for mortals
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